What I wish about when I wish about writing

Since we’re writing a blog about how we don’t write (or design, or draw, or paint, or wash dishes, or fack) enough, I guess we should tell you what we wish we were doing more of. Maybe Erin already said her piece, I don’t have the attention span to read our own blog though, so pardon my redundancy.

I wish I wrote more novels. Wait! Correction! I wish I wrote more OF my novels. As in, I wish I didn’t write 80 percent of a novel in three weeks and then decide it’s total crap and abandon it to fester til eternity on my hard drive, then start a new one, and, RINSE AND REPEAT. I mean, what kind of dinkus has FOUR 80 percent finished novels on her hard drive? Hello? Anyone? I crave bad company here.

Are we setting goals? My goal is to write 1000 words a day on my novel. In the best of times, hopped up on no less than three bars of 82 percent cacao chocolate and lots of green tea, this would take me thirty minutes. In the worst of times it would take me seven months (yes,this is how long it’s been since I write anything on my latest novel).

I have to start the implementation of this goal on Saturday, because tonight I’m going to the Milk red carpet premiere with Erin, Michelle, and Michael. Our seats are six rows from Sean Penn’s seat. Naturally we’ve done nothing ALL DAY but email each other about what to wear. Verdict? Michelle is wearing a leather bra and her best stripper boots. Erin is wearing her marvelous new shoes she got on the Innernet and her Fonzie jacket, I’m wearing my diamond and bratwurst bustiere and new silver Paolo’s I got for a song yesterday at Nordy Rack, and Michael is wearing Sean Penn on his face. Oh my, just kidding! Don’t be jealous Brian Wilson! And if you’re wondering whether the omission of any lower body garments was an accident–it wasn’t. Running around Portland red carpet premieres in nothing but a leather bra and your wunderpants is the new black.

Hey, so wait, can we write dirty things about Michael and Sean Penn on this blog? Is that kosher? Is it kosher to say kosher? Sorry!

Should we have code names? Mine is Twat.

PS: I also want to run 1000 feet a day. I haven’t run since Paige broke her leg. I can’t run alone. Should running 1000 feet a day alone also be on my wish to do more of list? Am I overwhelming myself? Does this violate the principal of ‘baby steps?’

I’ll ponder this later, right now I’m busy tearing into my regularly schedule 4 pm Vosges bar.

Peace out,




One Response to “What I wish about when I wish about writing”

  1. ringpop Says:

    If your name is Twat, I want to be Taut.

    I guess I won’t be showing this to my mother.


    I mean


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